Build Up Your Sounding Board Dream Team

During my divorce, whenever someone gave me advice (which I never asked for), I brushed it off because “they just don’t understand”. Built in my brain was a message; “Talking about custody issues, or an ex, should be avoided.” This line of thinking weighed me down, pushing away people who wanted to help. I survived that experience, and limped along for years as a consequence. 

Almost eight years later, custody issues resurfaced. This time, I reached out for help, knowing I needed support to help keep up my strength, and keep my concerns in perspective. Arming myself with a supportive, accountable crew of people, I shared my fears and “what if” concerns with them. The response I received was unconditional support, and their input was pure gold. I felt emboldened with this support crew at my side. I more than survived this custody issue; I came out the other end with more confidence than I had started.

The support of my Sounding Board Dream Team, in combination with FU Money confidence, led me to an outcome that has empowered me to be bold across all parts of my life. My journey towards Financial Independence has become a quest on my own terms. Having control and making decisions on your own terms, as a single parent, is a luxury that not is not often attained. You deserve to have this.

You shouldn’t go it alone when managing something of such magnitude. Whether it is related to a job, an ex partner, or daring to take a new opportunity, you should build yourself up with support. You likely already know the people to trust, and those to not. My take? Your gut is right when it comes to knowing who is trustworthy. Find people with different experiences. Let them ask hard questions. Share with them an outcome you never dared to say aloud, a hope that may not seem worth asking for. They may help you get exactly what you want. 

Put yourself out there to a few trustworthy souls, and let these select people know what you are going through. It may be two people; a lucky person may have three or four to turn to. Throughout these experiences, I’ve found friends can be broken up into different categories:

**Note: Dancing is common across all types of friends. Don’t put people in a different box just because they want to dance.

So go ahead and share everything with those nice friends, they’ll give you the suggestions you want to hear. Then assemble your Sounding Board Dream Team, so they can tell you what you need to hear.

A word of warning: 

You will get advice that is not easy to follow. It will stretch your comfort zone. You may try to talk yourself out of it.

That probably means it’s valuable.