My Story: The Other Side of Fuck You Money
In 2022, I stumbled upon the financial independence movement. The overlords of the google algorithm process put Mr. Money Mustache in my path, and the rest was history. Like a madwoman, I absorbed as many blogs and podcasts as I could. I created spreadsheets, made projections, and I came to the conclusion: I can retire early, whoopee! It will take a few years of discipline to work towards something I will someday appreciate. My thought process?
“I better be extra careful and stick to this precious plan…”
So I spent less. And invested more, building up for a change down the road. I was slowly accumulating wealth and stability, waiting for the reward at the end of this plan I held so tightly to.
Just in the first two years of this process, I could tell I was changing. Since I was living below my means, I felt less pressure in my job to keep my head low, nod and smile, and stay off the radar. Instead of being the “yes” person at work, I became a pain in the ass, advocating for the families I serve and the team I work with. I found myself speaking up to my superiors when they made ridiculous arbitrary sweeping declarations of change. I was emboldened by knowing I had some resources if all else fails. I vented the pressure of my job with my slowly acquired Fuck You Money.
My precious plan was on course.
Then came a deviation from this “plan” I held so closely. I am a single parent, who has been “collaborating” with an ex spouse for almost ten years. Ten years of imbalanced responsibilities, of walking on eggshells, of never saying “No”. Ten years of fear of rocking the boat, or “what if we go to court?”, and especially; “what if I lose everything in this fight?”.
What would happen to my plan?
Ready or not, it was time for disruption. The time to stand my ground. It was time to push for what was best for my child and their stability. And because of all the confidence and competence I had generated within myself during the FI journey, I didn’t have to walk on eggshells anymore. I had no fear of “what if we go to court?”, or “what if I lose everything in this fight?”. I had the confidence and the means to do whatever I had to do for my family, no matter the consequence. I knew I could start from 0 again. Make a new plan. I could live with myself, knowing I tried everything I could to make life for my child better. It may not have been part of my FIRE projections, but some things are more important and deserve to be a disruption in our plans. This confidence and state of mind is a luxury that I held, and I took the challenge to dig my heels into the ground and I spoke up, finally saying to someone what I had been thinking for years: “NO”. And I used this word as a complete sentence.
So here I am, wiping off my war paint, the dust settling after a battle won. Just two years into working towards FI has changed me more than I have changed in my first 30 something years of life. The impact it will have on the rest of my life is impossible to quantify. There isn’t a spreadsheet to show this improvement. This slow wealth accumulation has provided me the opportunity to use Fuck You money the way that I needed it, in my circumstances.
